Love

This beautiful four letter word. It can bring so much pain, shame, violence and hatred. idk wat i wanna say yet. hmm. Love. I used to love LOVE, love songs, love movies, love quotes. I used to be to the point where id do almost anything for the one i loved, so they could love me in return (nothing degrading or anything) But i have come to a realization that Love is something you have to wait for. I used to think that saying was a load of crap, bc im super impatient. I jus want some boy to love me, not any boy. but the one i felt strongly for. But you have to be patient. because great things come to those who wait. dont ever try to push or force love on someone, especially if they are not ready. It will only push the person away. Realize IN-love and love are two very different things that get confused with one another most times. Girls jus chill the right guy will be there soon enough but right now he is out there learning and making mistakes, and god is allowing this so that when he gets to you, tht guy will know how to treat you and care for you and love you properly. Same goes for guys. I used to want love so bad because its the only true action in the world. it takes the strongest to do this. But i dont have time to let guys deter my focus or future. i spent tooooo much of my life already trippin over some guy. when i coulda been focusing on me and more important things that would have me doing better as a person than i am at the moment. Jus remember as long as you & jesus love you. You will never be alone nor unloved. so lets stop lookin for love ladies and let it find us. & ipromis it will be the best feeling, sweetest truest love you have ever known. uys lets quit "doggin hoes" just because its "cool" or you got hurt. Start being the man you would want your daughter to marry. Because surely, your gonna marry somebodies daughter. And you would never want urs disrepected. So give respect where respect is due and the rest will fall into place. So thats all i feel like typin for the moment. So peace love & happiness my brothers n sisters. & always remember even when you dont love yourself, o love you but more importantly so does jesus! muah

The Troubles of today

Hey this is my first blog. Im sure im talking to only myself lol. I have been stressing out lately. Like. I need money to go bck to chicago but of course no one in my fam that would cosign a loan for me is in good credit standing. I have no credit. & even with all the Financial aid, i still need at least a 10,000 dollar loan. My mom is gonna fill out the parent plus loan. In any regular circumstance they probably wouldnt give it to her but i pray that God hath mercy on my and her and they grant us the money. because columbia is my dream, my heart, my love. and i had some issues with going bck before and it broke my heart and i just dnt want that hurt again.. I try my hardest not to stress because i know Jesus will never fail me or put me in a position i cant get out of. I know this is where im supposed to be because countless times GOD made a way out of no way for me to be at colum. countless times. & that has not happened for any other college. I never wanted any other school but this one. Its my one & only choice. I jus pray that god make a way for me to be there, and on campus with the money so i can hurry up n get my life started again. bc once i left it felt like it was on pause. I jus pray and hope and have faith that God is gonna take care of this for me. In the bible, it says "ask & it shall be given to you". So i asked and im patiently waitng and standing on faith to recieve this extra money that i need to live my dream. It feels good to get that off of my chest. Thank you in advance for listening Jesus. Also for the money i need to be mine! Amen <3>